Rachel's blog :)

A life without inspiration is a dead flower. The sun gives the flower fuel and energy so it can live. Whatever source it is that inspires us, soaks into us with emotion. Inspiration gives us the motivation to grow, and it makes us  breathe life and emotion. It fills reaction and thought into our mind, and makes us bud actions. When Kathleen Benner Duble shared with us how she found her inspiration for the stories she’s written, I found that my inspiration generally  came from the same places her’s had and I’m certain others had felt the same. The essays I have written are all components to one huge garden, filled with blossoms of inspiration.

Inspiration From My Life Experiences :

Search for Certainty- Nightmares, though unpleasant, are an excellent source for inspiration, as are any other dreams you have. The feeling of loneliness in the dream moved me to write about it.

Inspiration From Other People’s Lives:

Bound by Responsibility- When I was younger I had a friend who I unfortunately, at first labeled. The story of how our friendship began inspired me, and I saw its relevance with the topic I was discussing in my essay.

Inspiration From Where I Live:

Dreamland- In a place like New England, I’m lucky to experience the presence of snow so often. The beauty of the snow enlightens me, even though we’re all so used to it here.

Inspiration From My Mother and Father:

 Leaving the Shell-  All my childhood memories added up as I was writing this essay. My parents, the ones responsible for how I was brought up, were really the ones who gave me the idea of what to write about.

Inspiration From Vacations:

A Fresh Respire- When we pick a destination to vacation to, it’s usually our ideal location. New Hampshire makes me feel so blissful, it’s my ideal getaway.

Inspiration From Books I’ve Read/ Research/ History/ Other Sources :

A Sad Surrender- Julie Anne Peters story “By the Time You Read This I’ll Be Dead” was fearless. She confronted the issue of teen suicide without softening, or excluding any of it. I respected her bold confrontation.

On a bad day, I find sometimes my worst enemy is writing. It sounds odd, and I know it causes me more distress than it should. But some days, I try a little too hard to make it sound good, I don’t know where to start, and my main idea is falling apart. I’m one of the worst organizers to walk the planet (I am constantly remind by my parents and friends everyday) and I don’t really plan things because I have no idea where to start. So you could say that it is a normal thing for me to witness all my loosely put together plans, and ideas slip through the cracks of my fingers, lying in a pathetic, messy pile on the floor. I find that this lack of organization does not help me whatsoever to write. I need a starting point, a plan of where to go to unclog my messy, wandering thoughts onto paper. Any form of writing needs a structure, some kind of loose format at least. Writing without a plan is like running blind in a race, when the sound of the gun goes off you plummet forward unknowingly, not knowing where to head, or what’s happening around you. It’s a very scattering feeling have your thoughts run around loosely, multiplying by the second. Sometimes, I need help to even let ideas flow, when I’m staring at blank paper appearing to have no more brain activity than vegetable. After today, I would like to give a genuine thank you to Kathleen Benner Duble, for giving me the direction I need, to set me in the right direction. I knew I would like her from the minute she started to speak.

“You have to have persistence to be a writer, it can be hard.” Kathleen Benner Duble, a real-life author had said, closing her enlightening assembly. I must admit, if she had made that statement at the beginning I might’ve laughed and thought, that’s what the always say. But, with a feeling of newfound confidence, becoming a really good writer seemed more realistic. She told us how to find our golden ideas and inspirations. She had me hooked. She said you can ask yourself, your relatives, or your friends if anything interesting has taken place in their lives. Using what’s around for ideas was another idea she expressed. I think for people living in Massachusetts, we have plenty of historical roots just waiting to be written about and have their story be told. She used her skiing hobby to develop one of her stories, which she used as an example to stress her point that you can use hobbies or interests to get ideas

Without inspiration, your writing is lifeless. Without a starting idea you will be lost. If you don’t use the main points she had stressed, you will be writing scattered essays, with weak main ideas. Students need to use these ideas for finding their main ideas because each point she brought up is solid, and guaranteed to help us. As for me, I have learned that those main points can help me not only if I need to write a story, but to write an essay. I need that method of finding ideas no matter what I’m writing. It’s very good thing she taught the students how and where to get ideas, because learning them now will help them a lot when they’re older. Students are not the only ones who can use these ideas, all writers, whether professional authors, or someone working for a small newspaper can use them. They need to find inspiration, in order to write something with a solid idea, so it will appeal to people when they publish it for others to view. Kathleen Benner Duble knows that we’re all capable of writing something excellent. She just gave the information to set us on our way.

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Superman has the bravery to fight off anyone, and anything that poses a threat. He has the courage to look danger in the eye and eliminate it without backing down, or showing any hint of hesitation. I think that’s the common, idealistic image of bravery, but bravery can be much more simple without the super powers, kryptonite, and capes. It can go unnoticed, if not taken close attention to. Average, or even unexpected people can possess it. For example if it’s not dramatic like the actions of superman are. Bravery can take place in any situation in which someone is taking on a difficult task because they have chosen too. I think they can be scared also, just as long as they are still choosing to take on whatever obstacle is in front of them. No matter what level the bravery is on, it influences the person to make brave actions. This works with any other trait a person contains. Our traits always rule our actions, opinions, and decisions. Brave Superman: Save the day,  Scared girl: Hide from threat.

When told Eric Calhoune from the story Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes possesses bravery you might be doubtful at first. A person who has been beaten, and degraded by so many people because of his physical appearance could never be brave. On page 7 he says, ” I don’t want to go inside. They all had a look, as if something important had been peeled away. And you got the feeling it could happen to you.” Eric is thinking this while going to visit Sarah in the hospital. It’s hard for him to go, but he pushes himself outside his comfort zone for her. Eric’s ability to see past people’s appearances is a little more detectable than his bravery. He’s always seen deeper into Sarah, past the surface of her defaced skin. On page 8 Eric says, ” Without spirit behind her eyes, Sarah Byrnes is truly one of the ugliest human beings outside the circus.” Her beauty, in Eric’s eyes, was held within her. It was her personality, and he’s saying since she isn’t talking that part of her is gone so what’s left of her is a shell. A shell that simply, and truthfully isn’t appealing.

Speaking up in class for some kids may take every ounce of courage they can gather up. The thing is though; teenagers are very sensitive to letting people see into them. When you speak up in class you’re letting people see into you and what you’re feeling. Eric spoke in front of his class and before he did, on page 21 he talked about how hard speaking up is. He said, ” I look around the room, into expectant eyes. They want me to go first; see if I’m going to get eaten up. It’s a little scary because, though I have good friends here, I also have mortal enemies, and you don’t want your enemies to know what you think.”  It was difficult for him, but his bravery made him speak. When he did speak, his ability to see through to people was shown through what he said. Also on page 21 he said, ” When I looked at her close, when I saw her without her razor-sharp words and her fire-all the stuff she cuts you up with-she looked gone. And I thought, I don’t blame you. I’d go away, too, because the world doesn’t provide any safe place for her. Everyday when she gets up, she knows she has to bring her scarred up face to school.” If Eric were shallow, like the other kids who bully Sarah because they only can see skin deep, he wouldn’t have said all those things about her. He wouldn’t have described in a way that sounded like he knew so well what she was going through.

Most people would agree that you wouldn’t open up to a stranger, but you can talk about anything with your friends. I think it’s the same concept with children and their parents. Some kids are no closer than aquaintances with their parents. Then, there are the kids who have a strict relationship with their parents, the kids who are on leashes. They know very well, not to screw up. And they also know not to tell them the details of their life that their parents can’t see.  I luckily, have an average relationship with my parents and that greatly affects what I feel I can and can’t share with them. I tell them the things I believe they deserve to know, or problems they can help me with. I don’t always come running to them though, expecting them to clean up messes I’ve created myself. Based on what I’ve observed among my friends relationships with their parents, and my own, the relationship with your parents ultimately determines how much you let them know about you.

Imagine your parents to be a little misunderstanding, and very strict. Maybe they have painted this perfectly, approving image of you, that in your eyes is unrealistic. You know that you have made mistakes, or choices without them, knowing they will disapprove. In class, a few students helped me imagine this. They showed me why, with parents like that, you wouldn’t want to open up. Jackie enlightened me by saying, ” You don’t know what they’re going to say, so don’t say anything at all.” Parents can be unpredictable, and why make them angry when it can easily be avoided? My opinions broadened however, when Kate shared a shifting thought. She said, ” they shouldn’t tell them everything in their life because they need to figure things out on their own.” I didn’t give much thought to that for being one of the reasons kids shouldn’t open up to their parents. It’s true though, we need to close ourselves off sometimes in order to grow and learn from our own mistakes.

Turtles come out of their shells when they know they are not being threatened. Kids have the same recoiling, and relaxing instinct. We come out of our shells, when we know our parents are not a threat. Noah said something along the lines of this statement. He said,  ” It depends on how they typically react to things, if they’re understanding it’s fine.” The turtle knows he is safe in his shelter,

I’m having a nightmare, that is like a silent horror film. My head is thick and I cannot make a sound, and my feet are planted in the ground. I’m with my family and friends, but they are moving ahead of me, drifting farther and farther away not looking back. I try to scream or catch up,  but I have no way of getting to them.The dream is coldly, unsettling and I wake up disoriented and desperate for something I cannot put my finger on. Dade, a very lost character from the story Star Food describes his feelings of being lonely. On page 167 he says, ” I felt alone in the world in the way that makes me aware of sound and temperature, as if I had just left a movie theater and stepped into an alley where a light rain was falling, and the wind was cool, and, from somewhere, other people’s voices could be heard.” He felt as I did in my nightmare: stuck, and lonely. There’s no worse feeling, then that of being all alone to your own confusion’s with no one to help you find your way.

I think Dade lets the woman go while waiting for his father because he’s internally conflicted. Up until Dade had his first encounter with the woman, he did everything to please his parents. The day he met the shoplifting woman was when he really started trying to understand what he wanted. He began trying to be a dreamer, a person of limited fame- as his mother would say. He eventually became practical like his dad after he decided he didn’t know what his dreams were, and so he decided to catch the woman. It would be a solid plan and he was suddenly so sure of it. Once he makes the plan he says to his father on page 163, “My life is making sense.” As he walked her to the room he said it felt more like he was walking her to a dance floor, as if he were about to dance with a close friend in a less tense atmosphere. It was then when his perspective twisted. This caught him off guard though and he told himself to know what he wants, and get a grip. He wants stability, but as soon as he reads the card of words he should say to the woman he is completely swayed and let’s her go.

Dade lets the woman go because he thinks she will resolve his internal confliction. He believes she will enlighten him on what he truly wants. He felt some false connection between them in the beginning.  On page 159 Dade says, “At the swinging door between the stockroom and the back of the store my heart went dizzy. The woman knew something about me.” Since Dade desperately just wants to know what he wants he thinks that the woman holds the answers. Therefore she captivates his interest, and he cannot let her be taken away because of her shop lifting. He then later says on page 160, ” But as I stood there behind the woman I suddenly realized I was smelling the inside of clouds. What was between us at that moment was an idea we had created ourselves.” Dade thinks they share some sort of common idea, so she understands him. The clouds in which he was searching for dreams and answers he believes have now been exposed from the inside, since she is with him.

He was told that jobs are for the money that will pay the bills, and there’s nothing else attached. He was told that, you don’t have to enjoy it as long as it pays. My dad didn’t agree with what my grandmother thought. He wanted to enjoy his job, to find himself happy leaving for it every morning. He defied his mother, and let his newly made decision affect how he grew up. Defying her was like a silent protest, only his motive wasn’t to call attention to himself so his mother would know she was wrong. His motive was for himself only, to prove he could do what he desired. Today he’s working for a job he loves.  He can say now with absolution that defying yourself from your parents as a teen, can very well affect who you grow up to be.

There’s a stage that is hardwired into all teenagers systems. This is the stage when we’re forming opinions, learning what we personally want. Knowing all this stimulates new thoughts. That’s when the nerve hits; that makes us turn into defiant, protesting people. Me, being one of those people, believe that defining ourselves within reason isn’t the worst thing. I find the idea of defying our parents attractive because I see an image of myself older and matured, my own person. While we are defying our parents we are growing to be unique individuals. We’re not becoming an exact replica of someone else. In the act of defying them we can find and flourish in our personal interests and opinions. We can occasionally make some mistakes; in trying to define them that will help us learn and grow. Our future can’t be filled with clones of our parents who have foreign opinions placed in their mind. However, There is a fine line between defying and rebelling.

What happens when you take defining too far? You get an over-rebellious teenager. They completely rebel in negative ways that just hurt them.  And while they’re doing this they are not growing, they are only making stupid mistakes that seem like good choices in their eyes. Once they see them as good, defining choices they don’t stop to learn from their mistakes, since they see none. This whole blown up rebellion image that has gotten to their heads, has now made them stuck in a trap of immaturity. If they had at least stuck to some of their parent’s morals, they would’ve had a sense of right and wrong furthermore leading them onto a better path growing up. Our parent’s shadow can be a good one, and kids may block that thought out. To be slightly in it will not hurt us.

On the “spectrum” of human nature, you have two polar opposites: the brave, and the cowardly. Cowardly human nature is depicted when people run from their fears. The brave human nature is represented when people take responsibility. The Griffin believes that Human nature is split into bravery, and fearfulness.

Humans have fear built into their system, no matter who they are. Some people though have much more than others and they let it control them. For example the townspeople opposed to the Minor Canon. The townspeople are afraid of the Griffin so they blame the Minor Canon for the Griffin’s presence. The Minor Canon of course is afraid of the monster but he takes on the responsibility and controls his fear. The Griffin explains to the citizens his feelings towards them on Page 142, he says “ As soon as you imagine yourselves threatened with a danger- for well I know you are dreadfully afraid of me-you send him off, caring not whether he returns or perishes, hoping thereby to save yourselves.” The Griffin I believe has really figured out the townspeople, and their cowardly manner. I agree with what he says about the townspeople. As for human nature in general, I think he is also correct about cowards. They will throw anything in front of themselves as a desperate attempt for a shield, or a solution.

Bravery is something precious and rare. Unfortunately, not very many people have pure bravery. The Griffin believes that there are very few humans with a brave human nature. On page 141, “ There was only one creature in the whole place for whom I could have had any appetite, and that was the Minor Canon, who has gone away. He was brave and good and honest, and I think I should have relished him.” I do agree with the Griffin when he makes the point that Bravery is scarce and hard to maintain since only one man had it and it had disappeared after not too long. When he says that he only has an appetite for the Minor Canons bravery I feel too, that I have a taste for bravery rather than people who are cowardly.

She was said to be offending, and egotistical and I decided then I wouldn’t let myself get too close to this girl. She looked the part, based on who she was friends with and how she set her eyes narrow for a while on whoever met her gaze. My group didn’t approve of her groups ideas, and her group would never approve of ours; it was fact and law. They were all about saying and doing the right things, but in my opinion she seemed relaxed about her boundaries which would usually earn her a cold look from her friends. One day I personally had met her through a sports team. There, she was a completely different person. I realized she was just as care free with her humor and actions as I was. We became very close friends, and people thought we were twins, not because we looked the same but because we gave off the same personality. I tend to separate myself from people I think have the wrong ideas about things. When you find someone who shares a common belief with you it forms a sort of invisible bond. Democrats join together and cooperate with each other because they believe strongly in the same ideas, as the same for the Republicans. Our friends, we get along with not because how they look, or if other people do not like them. Once you find what these people are about, and what they believe, think, and see is really when you make your truthful judgments to yourself about them. To very differing characters are joined together in the story, “ The Griffin and the Minor Canon” because of once again, a common belief.

There are two kinds of people who carry a community, the kind that is naturally boldly noticed and fearless, and the kind that is responsible, or feels obliged in some way. The Griffin and the Minor Canon are alike souls, just in different bodies. The Minor Canon is in the body of a young man who’s selfless and does the tasks he knows no one else will. The Griffin has a terrifying body, which gives him a violent depiction though he is harmless and equally as supportive and beneficial to the community. Both share the common belief of rightful responsibility. It is the similarities they share that connect them. On page 130 of the story, it says, “ He taught a school composed entirely of the bad children in the town whom nobody else would have anything to. Whenever the people wanted something difficult done for them, they always went to the Minor Canon.” I do not think it was because he was a courageous man, I believe he was just responsible. He also had intelligence, and cared deeply for his community. The Griffin felt he was responsible to take care of the town after the Minor Canon left, just as he knew the Minor would’ve. On page 138 the Griffin says, “ It is a pity about the school. I think I will teach it myself until he returns.” If the Griffin hadn’t been bounded by the belief of responsibility with the Minor Canon he wouldn’t have bothered to care for a community he is not welcomed in.

At times of great conflict both characters are treated as the reason for a great issue, when they’re harmless. The Griffin was in many ways a very misunderstood creature. Since he had arrived all he wanted was to speak to someone. After the Minor Canon was sent out the Griffin stayed and preformed all the duties the Minor would have. As the Autumnal Equinox was very quickly approaching two old men were appointed to feed the monstrous, horrible Griffin a meal so he would not eat their beloved children. On page 141 they say, “ Anything would be better, than to have our dear children devoured.” This was shortly after he had volunteered to help the poor and the sick, and taught their children excellently without an ounce of severity. He was selfless and genuinely cared but the people didn’t see that. Minor Canon, has always been self sacrificing for his community. When the Griffin arrived he did something that could be the most self-sacrificing, which was talk to the Griffin. Once the Autumnal Equinox came near the citizens became terrified and ordered that the Minor Canon go to the dreadful wilds so the “monster” would follow. As soon as the Griffin had found out that the Minor Canon had been sent away he very angrily scolded the townspeople. On page 142 he says, “; And as soon as you imagine yourselves threatened with a danger- for well I know you are dreadfully afraid of me- you send him off, caring not whether he returns or perishes, hoping thereby to save yourselves.” It was as if the people had completely forgotten who the Minor Canon was to their community. Out of their selfishness they send someone who helped them greatly, in order to protect themselves. It was just as they had done with the Griffin.

The only difference is that in the end only one, of the two equally responsible characters is honored.

There is a silent girl who locks herself in, shut inside a bathroom stall there’s a scream underneath her surface, unheard. She’s an invisible girl who wanders lost, through the sea of shoving bodies and eyes that skip over her in a hallway, she’s faceless and unseen. She is simply no one in this scene, but secretly she has a voice worth being heard and a face worth acknowledging. The twisted thing is, when her existance is recognized here, it makes her wish she was invisible again. The severe pattern of how she lives, every day gets too hard to bear. Looking for any kind of escape, she’ll do anything to stop the pain. Sometimes the only way to escape is ending everything. It’s a permanant way to make yourself invisible again, it’s like a permanant force field against all the bad voices, and images. Teachers try to figure out and end to the epidemic of suicide, but the sad thing is, most of the time they can’t prevent everything. So if the adults can’t protect us anymore, and the kids need too keep themselves safe, who ends this?

Around 25,000,000 students in the United States are bullied. Nearly 5,000 teenagers commit suicide per year. It may just look like a number. If you picture each single number being a loved one, or a friend, and add them up you can actually feel the numbers sadness. Suicide is mainly brought among young adults and teens because of bullying, or harassment. If you are bully in the situation, you are usually unaware of how painful each little act of bullying can affect a person. If you are bullied to point of feeling trapped, hopeless, and looking for an escape, suicide seems like the most appealing way. When you’re contemplating it, it’s like you’ve already died. In the book I have read called, “By The Time You Read This, I’ll Be Dead”, Daelyn the main character is suicidal and has attempted suicide multiple times. She was also bullied ever since she was very young and had a very traumatic childhood. At one part she says, “By the time I was ten I already knew my destiny. By middle school I had a plan for escape, for control. There’s always a way out. All you have to do is take it.” After I read this I understood how extremely the bullying affected her. For a ten year old to feel to need to commit suicide greatly saddens me.

You can’t always pick out exactly when or if someone is contemplating suicide. You may feel like you’re just one person, or that some courageous person might appear and stand up for that kid being harassed like they were meant to. Bystanders are just as bad as bullies because they know they could do something to stop the bullying, but they simply don’t. What if that person you could’ve stood up for was gone tomorrow. There was one boy named Santana, in the book that tried to talk and be friends with Daelyn and never gave up showing that he cared. He was the reason in the end why she didn’t follow through. In a state of depression, teens feel no emotions of love, happiness, excitement, or desire. A lot simply feel nothing at all. I believe though that if you tried with them and held on, you could make them believe that you genuinely care about them. There is a chance they will realize that someone loves them, and maybe you can then convince them all that their life has to offer. If you think of Santana, and Daelyn.

We have passions, usually that let our talents shine through. Expressing ourselves through those talents we form a close connection with it. Then we grow with it and people begin to notice us. While we continue to move along, we affect the people along the way teaching them something. The one mistake you must make sure you never make is hiding your talents and not following through with them. During the Harlem Renaissance a lot of musical talent was just beginning to be recognized. That talent affected the lives of African Americans, and the music we are surrounded by today. 

The music during the Harlem renaissance gives us today a way of seeing what emotions were going on and specifically what people were thinking.  Jazz and Blues developed from the hardships and emotions coming from black musicians. It was a whole new beginning for African Americans, they were attracting respect. We are also influenced by there musical developments then that have made jazz and blues what it is today. Much of the Blues music was motivated by the struggle with segregation. The music that was created then evolved and influenced different types of music which we listen to today, and without it we wouldn’t know the music we listen to and love today.

Since they couldn’t get respect on the same level as white people at the time, they figured they could just group together to make their own society that would contain people who were respected. People couldn’t deny that a lot of African American jazz musicians were talented, that equally ranked them up with white musicians. Once their music became popular and apreciated their respect started to rise and their talent was noticable. Their talent showed they were all worth something and they had something to offer to the world. This music they were creating was like paving a road of respect for themselves to follow and expand for years to come.

 In our world, many people worship God believing he is the most supreme, highest, fair deity. He has the power to create beings each to be said beautiful, and unique. He controls what happens on our earth, all the happiness, and the pain. It makes one question though, in a world of crime, hurt, and death is God really fair? In a world where people feel like they are useless can God really expect us to live on happy, appreciative lives? The poem Yet Do I Marvel, by Countee Cullen suggests a lot of these thoughts.

When we are faced with oppression we may question, why would God do this. During the Harlem Renaissance there was a period when people were really tired of waiting for change. Some you could say lost hope maybe, and questioned why they were treated the way they were. In his poem Countee Cullen wrote  a lot about God, and his actions and reasoning. On line 9 of his poem, Yet Do I Marvel Countee says,” Inscrutable His ways are, and immune.” He’s saying Gods ways are difficult to understand, and there’s nothing you can do to change or stop them. During times of segregation I think a lot of people might’ve been thinking about God in this way. Questioning why he let all this pain and degradation take place. Later on Countee says on line 10, “To catechism by a mind too strewn With petty cares to slightly understand What awful brain compels His awful hand.” This states that God can’t see what’s right and wrong and his mind is caught on things less important to understand what awfulness he’s creating. It seems as if Countee believes that God is being to distracted by little unimportant issues and he doesn’t realize that there’s segregation and hate spreading across our country like an infectious disease. He almost seems a little angry to that God has not taken any action to stop it or any kind of recognition.

We are always told to be proud of who we are and accept that God made us who we are with love. But in a society when you are hated, and glared upon because of who you are, the concept that God made you who you are for a good reason doesn’t fall in place. It is very confusing to think that God would’ve made you in a way that everyone hates you. In the poem on line 13 it says, ” Yet do I m marvel at this curious thing: To make a poet black, and bid him sing!” Countee Cullen seems to be saying that, it’s funny that God has made me black, in a world where at the time to be African American is a struggle, and yet God expects me to be happy and content with all the segregation and racism towards to me. Poets are usually people with a say, and their work is published for everyone to observe and think about. But, he’s saying it’s unfair and contradicting that he is a black man and black men during those times weren’t acknowledged in literature and their work could not be published. It’s like screaming out in desperation to be heard , while locked in a silent, empty room. He is writing all these poems with his thoughts and emotions and nobody will read them.

I, too, have a say, my Family.

I am the younger sister.

They send me to my room

When I say the wrong things,

But I assure myself,

And think,

And grow ideas.

Tomorrow,

Ill be with the adults

When argument comes.

Nobody’ll dare

Say to me,

“Go to your room,”

Then.

Besides,

They’ll see how mature and smart I am

And be ashamed–

 I, too, am Family.

This year, everything is shifting like sand through the cracks of fingers. Friends are drifting apart and groups are starting to crumble. I’ve witnessed a lot of dramatic, suddenly serious fights among the people in our grade. It’s scary; we’re not fighting the sixth grade, or seventh grade anymore. It’s like we’re being shoved hard into a new dark atmosphere when everyone stands for themselves, and few are considered trusted. I believe our school has a dress code, and a music code, and a friend code that isn’t quite official, but everyone needs to follow it in order to be accepted. You need to listen to the music you’re told, you need to hangout with that group of people, and you need to dress like everyone else.

I’ve been involved in a few dilemmas this year. It started with my new forming, independent perspectives on how I believe I wanted to express myself with clothing, and the music I wanted to listen to. This naturally, was unsettling to some people and they believed it wasn’t right. I remember I had unsettled presentiments, I knew my change of interests wouldn’t be accepted too easily. They claimed I was a poser, something fake. I was utterly confused, how they could believe this when I believed I was finally becoming how I felt on the inside out. They were mad at me, and misread me. Soon a lot of people saw me as a faker. I had no idea how to show them I was myself, and everyone was misunderstanding. It was like we were speaking different languages. I figured if that’s what they didn’t want to see, than I would just pretend to be their correct version of myself.

Time wore this down; I was disgruntled by what my friends had said. I was sick of being what they wanted. I just figured if I let myself be who I want they’ll over time see me, as I was seeing myself. The accrual of my friends acceptance was warming. Change has been an accepted fact. Now, My friends are completely understanding, and most of us like the same styles of music and clothes. For those of us who don’t, we fathom eachother.

Everyday, your life requires the basic skill of teamwork, and interaction with the people who surround you. If we can’t learn to interact we can’t join ideas, furthermore creating better, more efficient ideas and solutions. If we do create ideas together we can accel in the world we live in today. When you’re young you begin to build these important skills. Whether you’re conscience of it or not, you build those skills during the smallest of situations, like a group project for example.

Working with other people can be hard, especially if you’re shy or if you’re not very close with the other members of your group. Speaking up and sharing your ideas with people you’re not comfortable with can be just as intimidating as giving a speech in front of a room of people. There’s still a lot of pressure to say the right things and hope the listeners won’t judge you. There’s a lot of other things that can make it a challenge also like if your personality doesn’t match up with another members. In my case, I had gotten along with everyone pretty well though a couple of people in my group I hadn’t really talked to before. When we were in the process of making our project a few things went wrong and we had some arguements. But, we talked through them and each of us fed ideas and solutions. Through hearing their arguements and what they had to say I learned a lot about them, which I had not expected. Towards the end of the project I found myself actually wanting to listen more to all of there ideas. Because of the good ideas they had already produced, I figured they could be capable of producing more. I gained more patience and more of an open mind.

Not only did I learn about other people, but I learned a little more about myself. A dynamic project requires a lot of creativity, and imagination. In order to make the project dynamic and creative everyone has to speak up, and contribute some creative ideas. I learned that once the ice is broken I have no problem sharing my thoughts and input with the group. I also learned that, I am more creative than I give myself credit for. I learned from my mistakes at times too. One day we were supposed to work on the project a little extra and I hadn’t been able to make it to help the group and I didn’t pull my weight. This taught me everyone has to help out and you can’t depend on other people. 

When I reflect on this project, as small as it seems, I realize I’ve learned from it.

When you’re a kid, you come across many situations with bullying. Some times theres a clique of bullies, sometimes just one. In my case I was not only a victim, I was on the inside and the bully’s best friend. We were still very little still growing and learning. I had never really experienced much bullying and I didn’t know how to react. I remember when I first met her she was nice to me, and we quickly became friends. Not too much longer she began to start yelling at me for things I couldn’t understand, she would tell me my jokes were stupid. Sometimes she would literally hurt me and laugh, not too extremely though but enough that I felt awkward. One time I cried, and instead of stopping she laughed harder, and continued to do what she was doing to me. I told her I wasn’t crying then, and pretending like I was really laughing. I did it to protect myself, to show her she could hurt me but I was still tough like she was. Eventually she started making fun of who I was, and what my background was and then I had finally after the years opened myself up, but showed her my anger that used to be fear and hurt. I told her I had, had enough and she stopped. I then saw her weakness as she said she was sorry, and did not want to lose me as a friend. I was never more empowered in my life, I thought to myself. After you’ve been exposed to bullying after a deal of time you learn to build what I like to think of as a shell. You start of vulnerable to what people say, and if they hurt you your weakness spills out and your softness is exposed. Sooner or later you gain the knowledge that the moment you let them see your softness, is the moment you give them the satisfaction that they have succeeded what they intended, which was to hurt you. Your damage to them is like fuel. 

 Over time you build a shell, or a “mask” as Paul Lawrence Dunbar would say, who was a black poet during times of segregation. Shell or mask, you are hidden or shielded from showing you’re emotions and letting whoever has hurt you know, they have won.  Paul L. Dunbar said in his poem “We Wear the Mask”,  “ We sing, but oh the clay is vile” by this he means they seem happy, when really where they live and stand is awful, and disgusting. This is just like my situation, when I pretended to laugh and be happy when where I was in the situation, was awful.

There was another part in the poem that spoke out to me, and painted a better picture for me about what the segregated men and women were thinking. Paul L. Dunbar says,” Why should the world be over-wise, in counting all our tears and sighs? Nay, let them only see us, while we wear the mask” Here, I believe he is saying, why should we let people know we are upset, and get the satisfaction? Let them only see our mask of contentment, and happiness.

 The more I think about the poem the more I like it because of how I can relate to it, despite it’s time difference.

 Our parents watch us trying on oversized dresses and large clunky heels. That’s what they see, but we know that we’re beautiful princesses in gowns, or grown ups going out to a party. We’re wearing clip-on jewelry; we are whatever we want to be. We try to speed up time’s seemingly slow progression. Mom and dad kiss us goodnight, tuck us in, and check the closet; it’s safe to sleep. Once you’re asleep you dream in color, and anything is possible. Then you wake up feeling your dreams are possible. You mature, grow, and dull, no longer dreaming anymore. That’s when you really wake up to find reality. 

Once we’re grown, we lose our ability to imagine and believe. We become boring, and normal and fit into the civilized pattern of society. We gain self-control; and do what we’re told. We become narrow sighted. There’s nothing more sad then losing the innocence, imagination, and freedom of childhood. We don’t need parents for a lot of things now, because we want to be independent. When you’re older you’ll regret not having that dependency and close comfort of your parents. You won’t be able to turn back time, because it’s permanently sealed and forever moving forward. Your childhood only occurs once, and you’ll never be younger than you are right now.

 The abilities to create, imagine, and make a difference are extremely valuable. Those characteristics define a unique person from a sea of typical people. They are the building blocks for artists, leaders, and inventors. The moment we stop imagining is the moment we become boring and lose perspective. Why are people so scared of defining themselves? They’re scared of shouting out, as a child would, as if it’s crossing a line. As kids we aren’t afraid to shout out, until the time comes when we’re silenced. The creativity and imagination we possess as a child, we need to hold on to before it is permanently lost. If we stay a child at heart, creativity will flow through. The mind of a child has no limits, and roams freely. Keep that sense of wonder and curiosity inside, no matter how old you are.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCBeoAb764A Click this link to hear a song (especially note the lyrics which are shown in the video) I feel is very fitting to my essay,

Writing is like a mirror held up to it’s writer. If you were to look into a mirror, you would see your own reflection, certainly different from anyone else. The same thing applies to your writing, you would see your own style. As eigth graders though our stories are all unique and individual,we are all bound to write the same in a way. For example we all have a plot, climax, and theme. However the quality, and style could be different. Detail, dialogue, and other things might also be better or worse in terms of . What reflects back to us in the mirror can eithe be pretty, or flawed.

 We have to overcome decisions, and develop into who we are, and so do characters. To be specific, Lilly in Tyler’s story, and John in my story both make a mature, risky decision. In Tyler’s story Lilly says,” I was all done with this, I was planning to leave tonight. When I told Jen, Nick, and Robert I was leaving, they wanted to come. I warned them the danger this could be putting them in.” Lilly could get killed or severely beaten by Mr.Reed the man she works for if she leaves. This is like my story because in mine John, the main character faces a decision. It’s either building a plane and showing his dad he’s not worthless, or saying nothing and continue to be verbally abused and shot down by his father. Our stories both showed a character change from character’s who were quiet, and put up with people insulting them, to character’s who makes a bold move that defines themselves.

The way you end a story, or the style can either make people very angry or happy. Either way, it can vary. Tyler’s stories ending, and my stories ending are quite different in the way the event-like way they are written, but the message the endings give are the same. Tyler’s story ends like this, ”But we finally reached Boston Massachusetts. It was beautiful and amazing. The best part was knowing..we’re free now.” Her story ends with the Lilly and everyone alive and free, and everything seems finished on a happy note. At the end of my story John crashes and dies. I think people don’t realize that my ending is also happy, and that our endings are alike in that way. Yes, John dies, but he’s resolved his conflict. He’s flown his plane and succeeded to build it, and succeed to get Pa’s exceptance. Everything is fulfilled and fixed in both stories.

Looking around your home and all of what you’ve had is destroyed pieces in front of you. There’s ash, smoke, and tears. Siren’s high pitched wails mix with those of people around you. People are desperately, sobbing and shouting names of there family and friends. It’s like the images you see on the news, except you can, see hear, and feel it. And you’re stuck in the middle of it.  If you could protect, and possibly prevent the death of your families lives, your neighbor’s lives, and everyone around you’s lives or more, you obviously would. If it was a simple task too, some thing easy. You would do it without a question, wouldn’t you?

The thing is though, that we live in a region where earthquakes are less likely to occur anytime soon. The last time Massachusetts had a major earthquake was in 1755. To make public buildings earthquake resistant would be great, and most people would appeal to it. But, it would of course cost money for the tax, and it woudl take focus from some of the major issues we need to tackle and get more of a hand on. I think that these taxes are better off in places like Japan, Chile, or Haiti where earthquakes are a more serious common risk.

 There are many issues that are sort of ” at the top of the list” for our country, you could say. They’re all sort of linked together. Things such as health care, and unemployment. Also as everybody  knows, the economy also hasn’t been looking too well lately. So, in result we all need to cut back and wisely use our money. We have many other taxes to pay and adding another tax for something that isn’t really at the top of the list of our issues doesn’t seem like the best idea. Some people would  argue that it is less likely that an earthquake will be a bigger issue for us, than things like the economy, and other active issues are.

I wake up when my mom taps my shoulder smiling saying “We’re here.” I open my eyes and roll down the window. The smell of campfire smoke and woods fills my nose. My body’s next reaction is to unbuckle myself and stick my head slightly out the window. A world of green only, it seems with a few exceptions of bright colors from the flowers. I smile as I respire because I know the arriving spring marks the beginning of the lake house trips.

As soon as the earth, Lake Winnipesauke, and my family, thaws from the cold weather we make our way up north to Moultonborough New Hampshire. You could say it’s the perfect getaway for families seeking peace and a little more seclusion in more woodsy areas. The house is cozy, nothing fancy and simple. The screen room provides you a clear view of the fresh green grass and flowers my mom plants. Of course, you also can see and smell many pine trees. The bears much like humans in a way, come out of their hibernation, and snoop around the dumpsters, or lurk back in the woods. It’s like nature is awakening after a long rest.

I love the mornings when I wake up and see my mom planting the bulbs outside in our garden. I hurry outside so I can help her, get down in the unveiled soil, and dig. It’s the start of the process of settling into spring. My favorite part is taking the long drive down through the mostly abandoned area that was only inhabited by an endless amount of trees, and stretching grass. The ride there is beautiful, the dirt roads are shaded over by tall trees the cast shadows as we drive. Finally when we get to the little farm ice cream stop in the center of an unlimited field. Nobody works there and you can scoop the ice cream yourself. Also paying is based on the honor system so you can just throw your money in a pail. I liked that, the thought that the owners were so trusting in strangers. Spring finally hits me, hard. It’s the taste of the ice cream in my mouth. It’s the birds calling and the sprouting grass under my body as I lie down in the field.

We’re all individual and unique; we have different qualities that make us the character’s we are. The president is a leader. He’s helped our country and has extreme courage, and pride. Our parents are loving, and supportive, they’ll back you up no matter what kind of predicament you’re in. Your best friend is trustworthy, and maybe shy. These unique qualities that make them, them appeal to you though. Their ‘character traits’, or qualities affect their decisions, and make them who they are. In stories, Characters must be described through their speech, and actions. The author must paint a good picture of who the person is. In my story, I have tried to make a descriptive image of my character that I hope will help the readers, better understand the traits of intelligence and being conservative.

Intelligence can be showed through smart actions, figures of speech, or a description about the person and their intelligence. For a character to be intelligent you have to think smartly yourself about how they would display their intelligence. In one passage I displayed my character John’s intelligence through a description of his thoughts in class. “Besides he had already known all the answers to all the teacher’s questions. When you don’t have many friends, and you have a wandering mind that without warning jumps back to painful memories, you need to distract yourself with something. For John, that was taking to his studies. School had become very boring.” In this section I explained why he was intelligent, without using his speech or actions. In another section I displayed John’s  intelligence. “John knew what he needed to do: go to shed, get metal parts, get paper, get pencil, get advcanced engineering automobile book. John had known a great deal about how to build automobiles, and machinery. Pa taught him as a boy, when home was a happy, safe place with Mama there. So how hard could a plane be? He would study the design the other men from North Carolina used for their aircraft. In a matter of hours John had himself a decent layout sketch of the plane design.” In this passage I showed the intelligence through his thought proccess and actions. I had to think myself, like John would need to. 

Conservation is a little more challenging because you need to pull the character back from a lot of things like speech and action since they’re not very outspoken. There are some ways however, you can display their traits still through speech, actions, and description. I wanted to make John seem reserved and conservative to add to his image of an innocent, quiet, smart kid. At one part of the story I “John didn’t say a word to his father since he entered the room. ‘Son, why are you all silent? Look here- John I said look at me!’ Branches whipped and scartched at the window, as if they were desperate to get in. John lifted his head stared at him with fear and hate in his eyes. ‘ Its ‘bout time you start actin’ like a man. Your turning 18 soon and you haven’t done nothing with yourself. Til then, you consider yourself worthless to me.’ A branch snapped, and the window swung open. John jerked up to close it. Then John sat back down not daring to speak or move, he held his breath. In this part I mad John seem innocent and defenseless so the readers would feel bad for him and take his side. He also showed a little internal, reserved strength by not fighting back, he held it in which shows internal strength.

When I scrolled through the websites I almost laughed.  I had found a million mistakes had made in the first draft about my historical fiction. Looking at it from a bright perspective, I definitely learned a lot. My story needs qualities I thought, qualities that will make it believable with facts, yet interesting with creativity.

 You could tell that the writers on each website were experienced with historical fiction and knew what they were talking about. I didn’t even think of some of the things they mentioned. I was struggling, trying to make my scenes sound fitting to the time period and setting. Their tips were dripping with salvation. From each I learned more new tips from the last site. One thing the really stood out at me was on the website Prithee, How Should I Tackle A Historical Fiction, Fair Lady?; it mentioned asking your self 3 questions. The questions were can you change history? Is the language authentic for the period? And, How much is too much info and research? When I read those rules a thought popped up in my head telling me that fixing the language in my story, was probably a good idea. Then I thought about one section that I specifically packed all this research and information in that I would have to take some pieces out of.

I clicked and scanned through a couple of other websites, building up knowledge to apply to my essay. I then met this nice organized website called Seven Rules For Writing Historical Fiction that had numbered tips that I skimmed through, each tip I found being more useful than any of the ones on the other pages. That’s just my opinion though. Some things she said were, avoid first person, don’t judge your character, you need to know back ground info like what their manner would need to be like in order for them to be accepted by society, Be very descriptive of the scenery back to that time period, And don’t give too much information in the beginning to the point its boring. And those are just some of the things that stood out, there are plenty more where that came from. I could literally add each on of those things into my essay because I don’t have any of them now.

I found it very surprising first of all, that there were website that had all that useful information right there for us. I was also surprised how much I learned from them.

Haiti Earthquake

Chile Earthquake

I would say that devastation is a better word to describe the feelings in Haiti and Chile, Than the word pain. January 12, 2010 at 4:53 pm, it took a matter of minutes for 3 million lives to change. 3 million Haitians were in need of medical assistance. Near 100,000 people’s lives were lost. March 27 in Chile, during the middle of the night it took nearly 90 seconds for homes and buildings to collapse, and many lives to be lost.  In Chile so far they’ve been able to record around 76 deaths, but the number continues to rise. The aftermath? Thousands of lives taken in the past few months, millions of people injured, and 2 countries decimated. Reporters have said that the two earthquakes are not connected and that it’s only an extremely, unfortunate coincidence. 

I was watching some videos on Haiti that were more disturbing than I had expected. I was too distracted by the camera footage of the people wandering the streets screaming and crying in the total chaos to focus on what the narrators of the clips were saying. I remember specifically one girl at the end of a video saying, “ the world is coming to an end.” And at another part a man saying,” there was no place to hide.” (To watch this video click the first link below.) They say that the Chile earthquake was around an 8 on the magnitude scale, while Haiti was a 7, therefore Chile was very, very strong and more dangerous. In the eyes of those people living in Chile and Haiti, it was like the dooms day. 

So the big question is what can we do today, to help the Haitians and Chileans? For Haiti, there is a fund called Hope for Haiti that has been around since 2006 before the earthquake, originally helping with donations from people to help build classrooms and educations for children in Haiti living in poverty. Today, you can visit the third link posted below and click donate to help contribute to the earth quake relief effort. As for helping Chile, you might have heard of a fund called Habitat for Humanity. They have helped Chile many times in the past after other earth quakes and also support in North America, Europe and Central Asia, Africa and the Middle East, Asia and the Pacific, and Latin America and the Caribbean. So basically all over the world. If you are interested in donating to Chile you can click the second fourth link below. 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8455629.stm  <– Haiti Earthquake Video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNkgyIRBBLQ&feature=channel   <– Chile Earthquake Video

http://www.hope-for-haiti.org/ <– Haiti Donation Site

https://www.habitat.org/cd/giving/donate.aspx?link=252&media=Google&source_code=DHQMW0000W1148&keyword=donate%20to%20chile&utm_source=google-pd&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=donate%20to%20chile&utm_campaign=chile <–Chile Donation Site

       In science this year we have done things from making a model solar system in the hallway, to stretching our creativity by writing essays on imaginary planets. I do have to admit though that science has definitely gone up a notch in difficulty. For a student like me, a student with imperfections of course, it’s hard to follow with the work. This makes me a little nervous for high school. I think it would be useful to maybe try doing some high school science prep. Maybe like a preview for what science in the high school will be like. One thing I do like about science this year has been the interactive activities. I’m one of those people who work better in groups. Something new that we’ve been doing a lot of this year is getting more acquainted with, and more involved with is use of technology. We’ve been using all kinds of technology to learn more about science like our blogs, senteos, and online games. Some of our homework assignments have been simply to play games online. The good thing about that is it’s easy, and sometimes fun. The bad thing is a lot of things can go wrong like you might not have access to a computer or your computer might not be working. Overall science has been pretty good, but a little hard to follow personally.

I guess if you had to track it down to one point when I started to enjoy writing, I would say the 6th grade. Before 6th grade they basically made all of us copy down the format and ideas they wanted, make it sound nice, and hand it back to them. My first encounter with 6th grade writing didn’t end well. I was full of anger that I couldn’t follow a certain set of rules, that I couldn’t copy anything being put down in front of me by the teachers. When I was able to get past that wall my originality flowed through and I found that I loved that feeling of freedom.Writing and I are friends now,  and we always have our good days and bad days. Sometimes I still get angry with writing and sometimes the final product of an assignment doesn’t come out so well. I think that my better essay’s could use some recognition, and so can my bad. Because who doesn’t love reading a nice, entertaining, poorly written essay?

Best essay goes to dreamland. I think it reflects down to every little detail my experience with the beautiful scenery during the winter at my old house. Also to top things off it has a pretty little picture at the top of the snow, and the title I think is very suitable. Worst essay proudly goes to Zach, Look Away. The title is very dumb, and it is only one paragraph. It’s not very interesting either.

Best comparison goes to Grass, Dirt, and Happiness. The comparison was We’re like weightless hellium balloons floating in the sky; blissfully, untouchable. It just sounds well worded, and the job for comparisons is to give a good mental image and this comparison fulfilled that duty. Worst comparison goes to Life: the Game of Strategy for the comparison, Fighting with my mom is like a contest or a game. The comparison is to undeveloped. I didn’t make it specific enough it’s too vague. 

Best idea goes to What happens in the beauty parlor, stays in the beauty parlor. It’s original because I thought of the idea completely on my own. Also the details about the parlor I thought of are fun and take a trip back to the poodle skirt days..Worst idea goes to Checks+Dysfunctional Homework= Help me. The title to start off with was a kind of strange idea. Basically throughout the essay I was just listing random things that happened throughout the day, with a semi-negative outlook. Basically, it sounded like more beginning of the year material. 

Best Grabber/Intro goes to It’s The Fun Of It  patrially because it was on the topic I enjoyed of destruction, and the story we read called the Destructors. It foreshadows and deffinitely gives the mood of the story I’m about to talk about. The way that the grabber is opened on a interesting note, and sealed with a sentence that makes you realize the title meaning, makes it have overall appeal to me. Worst Grabber/Intro goes to A chain reaction of humiliation.  Just reading the beginning makes me cringe because of how cheesy it sounds. It was a silly little story about embarassment over candy cow tales, and that didn’t compare at all to the more serious embarassment in the story sucker.

There are a few essays I feel deserve their share of attention, even though they’re not my best pieces.

Morphine For The Mind deserves mentioning for it’s title that includes an interesting metaphor, and the intense grabber that put’s you through the fight or flight feelings of fear. 

What Is The Idea Of True Love? deserves mentioning because of how I was able to link my thoughts on true love, with the Karazamov Brother’s, with my parents. I think it could’ve done better with a more interesting title.

Last but not least, the essay Because “They Love You.” earns an honorable mention for the funny moment I reflected on of my little league soccer days with my dad yelling at me. In addition to the humor in the beginning I was able to relate my difficult moment and struggles with my parents with the struggles of Waverly’s parents and her in Rules Of The Game, and the parents of Josh and him in the movie we watched called Searching For Bobby Fischer.

In the end after me and writing have our little disputes, I always go back to loving it no matter how bad of a day we’ve had.

Skating circles around the rink, Nancy Kerrigan perfects every turn spin and land. Her life is stable, secure, and strong on the ice. But, not so much in her personal life. She’s skating circles around family issues. It’s like she’s falling instead of landing a move, when the press makes a negative comment about her. Despite every fault in the routine of her life, she manages to get back up again and have the strength to overcome her biggest struggles and setbacks. Nancy once said,” Falling down became a second nature and it doesn’t really bother me.”

Age six she was actually introduced to the ice. Her and the ice seemed to get along. They sort of had a destined bond that would lead her to figure skating stardom. At age nine she won her first metal. This was just the beginning of many awards to come. When she first started to skate her parents never forced her. So the only thing keeping her sticking to figure skating was her pure love for the sport. “Even now I can’t describe why I love skating so much.” When those early competitions came she admitted that she just wanted to go back to bed. But her determination from her coach, fans, and her supportive family urged her to get up every morning and get onto the ice. Nancy was always kind to her other opponents, showing displays of respect and good sportsmanship.

There was an incident on January 6, 1994. One of her skating rivalries ex-husband had assaulted her clubbing her in the knee. This disabled her from competing yet she was still awarded a place on the Olympic team in her honor. But like many of her other setbacks she quickly recovered.

Her family completely backed her up. They were like one close team always working together using teamwork to move forward and succeed. Nancy said,” Sometimes it was difficult to make friends and be social in school because I was always practicing while other kids were getting together and doing things. But it just made me closer to my family, and I realized that they would always be there no matter what.”

When the tabloids published many stories about Nancy shooting her down she had the courage to keep standing proudly, tall with dignity. She got back on course, showing ultimate bravery.

January 24, 2010 Nancy’s father had died due to violent struggles with her brother Mark. This was a tough time for the family and they are still recovering. But Nancy and her mom together can help each other be strong and get through this recent devastation.

 Today Nancy Kerrigan has a fund for the visually impaired, in honor of her mother Brenda Kerrigan who is blind. Unlike many other Olympians Nancy’s life is flawed, which makes it all the more raw and realistic. She overcame many serious obstacles that other Olympians didn’t have to face, making her even stronger. She still displayed many good role model qualities despite her challenges, and has impacted many people along her journey.

In little league summer soccer, if you could imagine, most of the young kids didn’t have good manners. We wouldn’t communicate I remember my coach saying, we didn’t want to listen to anyone else but ourselves. We would be ball hogs, not yet getting the grasp of the word “Sharing” We lost more games than we won. I wasn’t really the sharpest player but one game things sort of changed. I got the idea to try to make a goal. I know crazy idea, but I wanted it so bad. I was running up the field when one of my team mates yelled,” pass!” There was no way I was giving up that ball. I shot, and I missed. My first thought was how that kid was right and I ignored them. I felt stupid and came to the conclusion that sharing next time might save me the embarrassment of missing a goal, and that it’s the right thing to do. I f you listen to other peoples thoughts, even if you don’t want to or if their crazy, you can open up opportunities and new perspectives.

To not have complete knowledge of something can either be good or bad. If you have complete knowledge you can know the rules, the facts, and the background information. But if you don’t have knowledge you have a broader perspective, or imagination. Sometimes realistic imagination is good because then you can look at all the possibilities. The rules can shorten your ideas and doubt things more. Wegener for example, developed the theory of continental drift with no formal training.

If you think about it back then with theories like animals moving to different continents through land bridges, the theory of continental change would seem a little hard to grasp. Wegener had no training in Geology which probably contributed to peoples disbelief in his theory. Also he had no physical proof to show to people to help support his theory. Little did they know that his idea was actually genius, and true. It goes to show that you should always listen to other peoples ideas and consider them rather than just letting them blow by.

by Rachel F. – 8th Grade

You are forced to do many things in life. For example doing chores, being nice to people we don’t patricularly like, and following rules. That’s the beautiful thing about free reading. You’re completely independent in choice and you’re not forced to read a book you don’t like. It’s very interesting to see what type of book people choose on their own. Also you’re not forced to read a certain amount of pages each night. Just as long as you read a book and finish it in a certain amount of time. Makes you wan’t to pick up a book and start reading now, doesn’t it?

Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater was very thrilling to read and had an excellent ending. Take out the boy in a romance and replace him with a werewolf and that makes a more interesting plot. Sam and Grace’s relationship was unsteady, which kept me on edge and reading. _Rachel F.

Small Steps by Louis Sachar was extremely entertaining to read. I would recommend it to anyone. It was fast-passed, but still easy to follow. I was able to understand most of it the first time I read it. Out of all the books by Louis Sachar, I think this is the best, and any eighth grader would love_Bella G.

The Midnight Twins by Jacquelyn Mitchard was a pretty good book I suppose. It was kind of confusing because they kept talking about new people, without really introducing them. I would recommend this book though to someone who’s trying to find a good book to read. It was interesting_Sara H.

Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher is not what I expected it to be. The beginning and middle parts were a bit boring, but it ended more riveting than I expected. It was a bit confusing at some parts. Towards the end it changes a lot, and you can’t put it down_Jackie M.

Beastly by Alex Flinn is dark; defying. The cover portrayed something deeper than it was, something that I thought would be filled with pain and despair. Boy, was I wrong. It was too cliché; expected. It’s the same thing that always happens – boy is beautiful. Gets punished. Learns his lesson. Happy ending._Maddie D.

I smiled as I read my comments.When we were told we were about to look at each other’s blogs I felt  a little ping of anxiety. Having your peers read your own reading was like having them look through a seeing glass into your soul to your most embarrassing thoughts and secrets, as dramatic as it sounds. Or like being seen in your underwear, or some other embarrassing situation. The reason for this is because when you’re writing what’s coming straight from inside you so your a little vulnerable to people’s thoughts about what you write. It’s also personal, and the younger you are the more self conscious you are about letting people see the true you. When I write I write my true absolute feelings. But I realized that I honestly didn’t care anymore because I’m proud of my writing and I don’t care if people see it, and therefore seeing into me.

So, when I read peoples comments on some of my more  personal essay’s like, “the unwritten future” and, ” AWOL” I felt good to find out that they were all positive comments. It also turns out that they liked my more personal essays, since I had received more comments on them. This I found interesting and maybe not just a coincidence. I realized that if you let yourself open up to your own, true thoughts in your writing it will be guaranteed to sound better.

The favorite comment I had gotten was from Jackie Melius saying,”I really like how the introduction is a personal story and you describe yourself. My favorite part is when you say “I’m fighting a battle between my mind and my body, my mind says keep reading, my body betrays me and says sleep.” It’s a really good way to say something like “I want to keep reading, but I feel tired.” You did a really good job describing things also.” This was probably the most helpful comment that I could take, and keep in mind or use for future references. She was VERY descriptive and used a passage from my writing while in other comments they would just say things like” very descriptive” or” nice grabber.” Now I know specifically what she like about the essay so maybe I can do what I did right more often.

When you hear the word entrance you think of yourself just simply entering a room. Or maybe the opening you walk through that leads to the inside of a room. Entrances however, are more than just “the immersed portion of a hull forward of the middle body.” Or walking through a doorway in other words. Entrances can tell a lot about people.

 They can walk in loudly and pronounced with body language, sort of silently yelling, “ Everyone look at me!” Or sometimes they can literally yell. Timid people might sort of keep their head down and walk in quietly trying to be unnoticed. This is also used in acting to help add on to characters personas. An entrance is like being under a microscope. All the attention is on you. So, how you enter is viewed by the audience and the other characters on stage. Your entrance has to correctly match the mood you’re setting, or feeling.

For acting the entrance is “ the moment or place in the script at which and actor comes on the stage.” They can enter for example, stage left, or stage right. When they combine there entering with some kind of emotion it’s sort of like a theatrical entrance. It’s very expressive, with obvious emotions given off. Sometimes people give off theatrical entrances in real life, say, stomping their feet very obviously if they’re angry.

 “It’s okay Rachel, you showed effort” they’d seal the statement with a pitiful smile. “We’ll always be proud of you, no matter what those letters on the paper say.” I wish they were mad as mad at myself as I was, like normal parents. Set goals, aim, achieve. Thinking about it’s simple; actions are harder, more real. I’ve been struggling with myself to accept my grades, meanwhile, get the grades I want. Everybody knows their weaknesses, academically mines math. Ever since I was in elementary school I haven’t let up pushing myself, and neither have my parents. I’m terrified for the future, I feel like if I fail now I’ll be stuck then.

Step 1: accept myself. I’m certain I need confidence and to believe I can. With confidence nobody can tell you you’re wrong and get you down. Step 2: actually follow through with the goals, go after school for the help I wanted in math. Step 3: get over the fear of your future. Steps help me organize myself. Organization helps me fight the battle I have constantly with my own focus. Focus, is my worst enemy especially in middle school. Middle school is hell, and I don’t think one person would deny that statement. However, I’m proud of where I stand now halfway through the year. I’m improving in math, getting better at writing, and focusing in science and social studies better.

Just saying the statement that we’re halfway through the year sets me on edge with the combining emotions of nervous, and excited. I can’t wait to find out what group I’ll settle into and what other things I’ll bloom in. My friends and I talk about how it’s scary to see ourselves growing so fast and that we wish we could go back to our little elementary schools. I can’t turn back time (as much as I would like to) so now I’m stuck with the mistakes I’ve made ,and the things I can do in the future. I’d rather focus on the things I’m yet to do. I’m waiting for it to sink into me that I should be proud of myself, and that my parents are to and that they really are meaning what they say. So half way through the year, I’d say it’s time to make the best of the other half.

Whoever knows my mom would say she was a pretty normal person. She’s perfectly fine emotionally, and physically. And so am I even though I grew up without a blood related grandfather. Father’s play very important roles in your life, everyone needs a father figure. When my mom was younger her life was a little different than all the other little girls lives, Kind of like Melinda from Approximations.

In summary of my mom’s situation, mom marries wrong man, mom has a daughter, man gets scared and runs away in spite of , denying any responsibility. In Approximations, her mom and dad get divorced and she gets to see her dad every once in a while, for this reason she’s only partially affected, better than nothing. When my mom saw my grandma’s pain, it changed her. There was always that little bit inside of her that secretly distrusted men. Of course she’s fine today, because she’s married and loves my dad. But without a father she missed out on simple things, like learning how to play sports, or father-daughter-things like that. But little moments like those add up.

My mom didn’t have the “approximation.” She had, nothing. An approximation would’ve been enough. She would have a male figure (besides her uncle) to look up to. Melinda has Jerry, and her father stops in occasionally. Not really enough though, I would say. She can’t connect with men because she hadn’t really connected with her father because he wasn’t there for her. For example Jerry, at the end of the story hugs her and she pulls away saying he’s the stranger. This leads me to think she has a weak connection with men. You need that man you call dad there, for that respect and for that love and connection. Absence is inexcusable, and defecting.

The beauty parlor was the center of town, all the action was there. All the very women would gossip about (name)’s girlfriend, or how gases had raised a couple cents. Their were no secrets kept in the beauty parlor. What happened there, stayed there. Sort of like an unofficial everyone silently followed.

The design of the parlor was very late 50′s. There were two red and blue swirled standing firm at the entrance like giant candy canes. It had a big window in the front. Walking by, you could see the ladies clustered in their chairs. With wide eyes they devoured the stories that were being told. There mouths also moved at the speed of light. There laughter, shot outside of the shop in chorus.

On the inside, you were greeted with a bell jingling, a static radio buzz, and around 10 stares. If you were well known there you’d receive multiple hugs, and a,” you’ll never believe what happened to (name of another parlor woman)!” All their hair was identical in height, and curly shape set with a can of hairspray each. In fact, in the parlor you breathed hair spray, not oxygen. The ladies despite their gossiping side, were nice women. It was a pretty interesting atmosphere.

I look over at the clock next to me, my eyes are heavy. It reads 12:37am. I’ve done it again, stayed up pushing the limit. Now I wouldn’t be able to wake up till at least 7:00am. Leaving in roughly 6 hours of sleep, not enough. Before I put the book away I hit a very suspensefully, intruiging scene. I’m fighting a battle between my mind and my body, my mind says keep reading, my body betrays me and says sleep. Maybe just one more chapter I think.

Right before bed lately I’ve gotten in the routine of reading my free reading book, Shiver. It’s probably not a good routine considering it cuts into my hours of sleep, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. When it’s the end of my day, when the school day of stress floats away, when my homework has been finished, when I’m ready to collapse, Is when I find myself read. Sometimes on the weekends when I have nothing to do with myself, or when I’m having a bad day and need to get lost and zoned out of my world.

My rooms the prefect getaway, or shelter from the many threatening and stressful things in my world. It’s either quiet, or filled with my music. Either way it’s perfect for me. I usually read Shiver in my room, it’s the perfect place. I can focus, and not be bothered. It let’s me get into the storyline, and if I can do that I can feel like I’m in the story. That’s the most important part I think; being able to be in a good setting to read. It totally affects everything. Your focus, your mood, and your ability to feel like your in the story.

All of us had to atleast look up at the sky once when they were younger, and wondered what was out there. The dark sky and stars, seems like it will never end. When were younger I think we think of more imaginative things like aliens and starships. As we got older however, our curiosity doesn’t stop. If anything we start to question more. Is there any other life out there? What’s really in deep space?

Our Solar system is massive, Never ending. There could be anything out there beyond it. So naturally, humans being curious we explore. We explore to increase our knowledge of space beyond our Solar System, and to see what’s out there. The more scientist learn the closer we are to learning about if there is any life beyond our solar system. The more steps they take, the more we know. Exploring is the only way to learn more about our Solar System.

Nobody can quite say what’s out there, light years away past our Solar System. There are many possible ideas, and theories. Some people say extra terrestrials, or aliens live out there in some kind of civilization. I’m not sure if I believe in this because there’s no proof. I mean someone a long time ago could’ve just made it up as an excuse because they really didn’t know what was out there. I think that past us there is a lot of more galaxy, then maybe it could be possible that there could be another star out there like our sun. If there is and there are planets orbiting it maybe life could be possible. It’s a mystery hopefully to be solved in the near future.

Teenagers and kids are angry with a lot of things. There is their parents, school, and their social life. Sometimes that can cause them to lash out, and destroy things. Parents and adults always talk about “those destructive kids.” Even though adults can be destructive too. But picture a teenager that’s emotionally stable. Not angry or sad, just fine. So the teenager for example, vandalizes school property. Why would they do this if they weren’t angry? There are many things that could have caused them to do this. Sometimes we are filled with rebellion. The urge to fight what were told. Some of us are thrill seekers, just wanting to have some fun. They seek their fun in ways that can be dangerous or harmful. But that’s the whole fun of it.

In the story the Destructors, the gang I think could’ve destroyed the house for many reasons. Fame, could have been one. On page 44 it says,” the fame of the wormsley common car park gang would surely reach around London.” I think fame can drive people to do all of stupid things sometimes. So, maybe the gang wanted to have their names on TV saying that they destroyed old misery. They wouldn’t even have cared if people were disgusted by what they did. Just as long as people knew their names.  Maybe they wanted to call out for peoples attention.

“Fighting the system” or, defiance could’ve been another drive to destroy Mr. Thomas’s house even though they didn’t hate him. T says at one part,” all this hate and love, its soft, it’s hooey” this shows that T is trying to be tough maybe and, cool. He doesn’t want to show any emotions of hate because it’s” hooey.” Also he might want to destroy the house because he says he thinks it’s beautiful. On page 41 he calls it beautiful and talks about the old staircase. He hates the feelings he has towards the houses beauty maybe because it’s very sensitive feelings. So, he destroys the decrepitly, beautiful house, eliminates all his love.

It’s fall:  We’re running through twigs, dead leaves, and scraping branches. Were to caught up in laughing and running to realize where were stepping, when one of us trips over a branch on the ground. We break out into laughter. It’s winter:  were shivering and shuffling on the ice and looking up at the stars, feeling care free.  Not minding the freezing cold because it’s worth the peace and quiet. It’s spring: In the woods again, growth and life is noticeable, and the pond is defrosting, we can play on the field and run around, and just get away from everything. We’re like weightless hellium balloons floating in the sky; blissfully, untouchable. It’s summer: we come home with grass stains, and get yelled at for staying out too late. We can’t help that we never want to leave. Its the park by my house: The getaway.

I moved to the Joshua Eaton district in the third grade. I made new friends easily because that’s how it works when your young. As we grew older we became more adventurous I guess you could say, or just bored and seeking for a place to stay. When we got older or parents let us wander around by ourselves around town. I don’t think they really minded, getting us out of the house.

The summer days were the best days. We were walking down a long hill not too far from my house when we spotted it. Our destination, the hope for the salvation from our own boredom. We scanned the site. 1 playground, 2 courts, and 1wide stretching- field with a couple of flooded area’s. Luckily for us there wasn’t anyone there. So for now it was our very own property. Our little slice of land to do whatever we want with. At the end of a summer day we gave off fumes of grass, dirt, and exhaustion. We go to bed worn out and satisfied with our day.

“Then he was gone, and without him, the other wolves closed in, too close, suffocating. Something seemed to flutter in my chest. There was no sun; there was no light. I was dying. I couldn’t remember what the sky looked like. But I didn’t die. I was lost to a sea of cold, and then I was reborn into a world of warmth. I remember this: his yellow eyes. I thought I’d never see them again.” This passage from Shiver, by Maggie Stiefvater, is just one of the many passages that keep me hooked, turning pages as fast as I can devour the words.

She’s an excellent writer, Maggie Stiefvater. She makes reading the book satisfying and addicting. It’s intelligently, well written. One night I had to stay up till midnight just because I couldn’t stop reading. But, there are some other reason’s why I enjoy this book so much. I’d first came about it at a book store in New Hampshire that Maddie and I had gone into while my parents were back in another store.  I think Maddie had picked up the book first and scanned the back then handed it to me,” Sounds good, read the back.” I scan it, I’m intrigued, I have to buy it. When my parents came I ask my mom but I’m not able to buy it because we have to leave. It was very disappointing leaving it in there, for someone else to buy. Lucky for me, About 9 month’s later I get a gift card to Barnes and Nobles so once I go there I immediately ask the clerk there if they have it and they do so I buy it.

The story is fictional, which makes it all the more interesting. The main character, Grace is playing in her backyard one day in the winter when a pack of wolves comes and drags her into the woods. While she is dying a wolf with yellow glowing eyes comes up and breaks up the pack from her. He doesn’t attack her and for some reason they have some kind of pull or attraction to each other that’s very complicated. Throughout the season’s (though especially winter) Grace goes out to see her wolf and he’s always there but keeps a distance. She has no fear of him though he has attacked and killed a boy in her town. The story switches off chapters from Graces voice to Sam’s voice. Sam is her wolf he is part human too. Grace does not know this and he tries desperately to get her to notice him in person if she will only just look into his eyes, she’ll know.

” Be aggressive Rachel get in their face!” my dad would yell at the topo of his lungs on the sidelines. I found it completely unnecessary considering for one reason, I was in the little league not the professional soccer league, and also it didn’t help me at all. Looking back at it now I know he was just trying to maybe give me some kind of feeling of support and guidance when I was on the field. But that thought goes away when after the games he would tell me everything  shouldn’t done, everything I didn’t do. It really made me feel like I wasn’t good enough and  was so young. But that was my dad and sports, he pushed me hard. My mom on the other hand was always there for me when I did horseback riding. She would watch me practice and tell me how good I looked in the ring. It really gave me the idea that  was a good rider, though maybe I wasn’t the best. Then one day I had a competition that the farm had set up. I went in feeling confident, but my hopes were let down as soon as i was assigned to Denny, and impossible horse. After the competition I was second to last, and I had felt awful because unlike soccer I originally had thought I was good. It was like a giant failure. The worst part was my mom had lied to me and told me I did well to make me feel better and that was not what I wanted to hear. I really appreciate though her trying to make me feel better and comforting me now though. Me and my parents have had many battles, in the end they win but most of the time I’m okay with it after a while. I realize that they’re right and they do the things the do and say the things they say because they love me.

” My mother would proudly walk with me, visiting many shops, buying very little. “This is my daughter Wave-ly Jong,” she said to whoever looked her way.” This is a description Waverly gives about her mother on page 35. She’s bragging about her daughter after she had won a chess competition. Waverly then says, ” I wish you wouldn’t do that, telling everybody I’m your daughter.” she says this because she’s embarassed about her mother bragging. her mother responds saying, ” Aiii-ya. So shame be with mother.” her mom says this because she doesn’t understand what Waverly means, she thinks she’s embarassed to have her mother be her mother. Her mother behaves the way she does in this passage because she’s proud, and wants to make her daughter feel good about herself maybe so she tells everyone that she had won.

In the film Searching For Bobby Fischer, the mom and the dad’s characters are two sort of different people. The mom at one point show’s a very caring behavior towards her son in one scene specifically. When Josh, her son is being trained by the chess tutor he seems to really upset Josh. So the mom steps in and kicks him out of there house. This shows a caring protective side of her. Josh’s dad at a point of the movie gets really focused on Josh getting good and winning chess. At one point Josh gets really nervous and loses his game. His dad takes him out into the rain and says, ” how could you lose in only 7 moves?” and then Josh says,” Why are you standing so far from me?” His dad’s senstitive side comes on and he realizes how he was acting and hugs Josh and comforts him. Sometimes winning can get the best of us, but then we realize that taking the risk of losing is the way life works. That is one thing the movie taught me.

Parents may act in many strange ways to show us that they love and care about us. When we fight with them we always are sure to make up with them in the end.

I remembered back to months before I had left on my trip to Chloroplanitis.It seemed nothing more than a green dot in the sky. Humidity fogs my sight and fills my breath. I step down into the basin filled with endless lush greenery. Millions of foreign bright flowers and plants I’ll have to record and bring home, stretch as far as I can see. I continue to take steps across the exotic, new planet.

I’ve come to think that the atmosphere is filled with oxygen,  Carbon dioxide, and Methane. This is a lot like us considering life is possible there. The whole planet sort of in some ways shows a lot of resemblance I think to us. It’s an inner planet. The rotation of the planet is 12 hours, and the revolution is 700 days. It’s distance from the sun is 91 million miles. It’s energy source is the sun. The sun’s energy is near so it causes all the plant life and the Chlorophyll to produce. Also the consistent rain contributes to plant life too. The rain often pools and causes bodies of water to form in the rich soil.

The water on this planet is full of minerals and it fertilizes the plants. Also there are scattered rivers,long and winding like snakes. It’s sort of like being in a gigantic rain forest, except with never before seen plants. There are mountains that are covered with greenery too and valleys at the bottom with all kinds of wild flowers. However there are no animals or organisms. Being on this planet is absolutely beautiful and it’s almost like seeing what our world was like before all this pollution, except it’s slightly different.

“You know Rachel, I was never this awful to my mother.” She said keeping her face completely smoothed over, no emotions. She was using pity and calmness, well isn’t she clever I thought. A rush of anger enflamed me. “Well we’re completely different people!” I yelled back. Yelling felt much better than keeping it inside of myself. She was the chess player, I was the Physical fighter who didn’t think in more strategic ways.  Another typical fight between me and my mom. 20 minutes later I’m grounded and emotionally worn out, and my mom has successfully conquered over me with saying only one thing. Every little thing I say just hurts me and makes me lose.

Fighting with my mom is like a contest or a game. Except I don’t remember ever winning once. From the beginning of the fight I feel her strength already over me knowing everything I say and do is powerless. She was always a step ahead. I usually use the “strategy” of verbally, and very loudly getting my points across. Not a very smart approach. Now, I’m deffintely not a preson of “inner strength” or “invisible strength” I let my emotions pour out without thinking. I’m very aware this is a bad method but I can’t control it. Once I get going. there’s no stopping. My mom though she’s clever, and that gets to me. It becomes annoying and makes me weaker, wanting to shout out more. Sometimes she won’t answer she’ll just give me a look and I’ll just yell twice as much daring her and waiting for her to yell back. She doesn’t of course because she’s the “better person” or more mature and controlling of her emotions. Waverly and I are a lot alike, our mothers are very clever. We both know how it feels to loose battles.

Waverly’s life is all about chess, and in a way is like a game chess. At the end of the story Waverly imagines herself losing to her mother in chess because she is losing to her mother in reality. In the story on page 37 it says, ” In my head, I saw a chessboard with sixty-four black and white squares. Opposite me was my opponent, two angry black slits. She wore a triumphant smile.”Strongest wind cannot be seen.” she said. In her head the chess board I think is like her life or the battle between her and her mother. The opponent or opposing player is her mother. She feels like her mom’s the opposing player because they are always fighting. Her mother is smiling and saying strongest win cannot be seen because she knows she is right about what she is saying and that she is winning. Those words she says, is like her very smart well thought out “move”. She knows it will make her win the game.

Later in the passage on page 37 it says,  ” Her black men advanced across the plane, slowly marching to each successive level as a single unit. My white pieces screamed as they scurried and fell off the board one by one.” Right before this passage Waverly and her mother had gotten in a fight. This is when her mother defeats her, it is very symbolic. her mother’s advancing pieces symbolize her mother winning and advancing over Waverly. Waverly’s screaming and falling pieces symbolize Waverly failing to the argument. The screaming specifically symbolizes her shouting and not having inner strength. The combination of the falling and screaming shows her going down with an argument. When I read this passage I picture every little argument and comment Waverly leaves defeating her one by one. That may be why it says ” they scurried and fell off the board one by one.” Her mom’s pieces though move all together as a single unit it says. So when Waverly’s mom says one thing it’s more powerful.

Waverly in this scene, ultimately feels failure to her mother. Her mother is the “better player.”

“Is that the Map from Dora?” Someone in the room asked. “yes, it is.” said Mr. Olivo slightly smiling. That made it look a little more interesting I thought, almost funny. Though obviously chess is very complex, It also kind of made the game seem a like it was for younger kids in a weird way to me. Like it was easier, I can’t really describe it. That feeling immediately went away once he explained all the rules of chess. It was very complicated and every piece had it’s rules.

Today’s class started off on the happy note of me finally getting my very own, Junior Great Book. This meant I didn’t have to take messy confusing notes in my compostion book. I was as happy as little kid receiving a giant bowl of candy. I could actually use the book for it’s purpose, to write in the margins. This was one of those moments when you realize how the small things in life can really make you happy.The next thing we did was have a quick discussion about “invisible strength. Then we took notes and found passages about invisible strength. I was really excited so even though it probably wasn’t necessary, when I was going through the book for passages I had to take a few notes about where there was examples of invisible strength.

The next activity we did was pretty interesting, it was a good idea I would say. He explained to us what each piece meant. The Map pieces that were little toys from probably some kind of Dora game, were pawns. He explained how each piece moved across the board, and what they were capable of. He explained it very visually like it was some kind of battle, how the pawns and other pieces needed back up because they could be destroyed out there “all alone.” I’m more of a visual learner so this whole activity helped me. Next he asked someone to play with him. The room was quiet like something shocking had just happened. Or maybe it was as if nobody wanted to participate and take the risk of embarrassing themselves. Everyone was either too nervous, confused, or just lazy and didn’t raise there hand. I didn’t really get it so I just faded back with everyone else, besides I didn’t want to mess up the game. This went on for about 2 minutes, Mr.Olivo talking and walking us through each move and then the bell rang. I left the room with a pretty developed knowledge of how to play chess.

Ever since I’ve learned to read in the first grade I’ve been hooked on it. It builds mental strength like exercise builds physical strength. My parents always tell me how important it is to read. It is not a problem for them to get me to try to read on my own because I love doing it. Reading is a tool of usefulness.

http://www.maggiestiefvater.com/shiver.php

Shiver, by Maggie Stiefvater is definitely an interesting story. It’s about wolves, to be specific werewolves. Just saying that it reminds most people of the popular series twilight. This might be part of the reason why it appeals to me, and many other readers. I first heard about this book actually before the book fair. My friend Maddie told me she was reading it for free reading and that she really liked it. Usually I like what Maddie likes in taste of music and books and things like that so I thought I might as well consider it.

http://www.amazon.com/Wintergirls-Laurie-Halse-Anderson/dp/067001110X

Wintergirls, by Laurie Halse Anderson is a book that’s for teen girls I would say. It’s about these two girls who have eating disorders and then once there 18 they grow apart. One of the girls calls the other 33 times on the night of her death. The girl who’s alive feels guilty.

http://www.thirteenreasonswhy.com/

13 Reasons why, by Jay Asher is a good book for anyone in the 8^th grade or above. It’s a more mature topic because the girl commits suicide and sends an audiotape 13 people including a boy named Sam. The whole book sort of solves the mystery of why she killed herself and it takes you through it through the thoughts and voice of Sam. It also highlights the theme of why we should respect one another and treat each other kindly.

I remember my brother used to have a friend who wasn’t the most athletically inclined. He was small for his age, but extremely intelligent. Also, he happened to be a very good chess player. He was so good he ran a program for kids who played chess. He was also very quiet and polite I remember around me and my family, he kept to himself. Sometimes even though my mom had told me it was rude I would stare at him and every time I did I would look at his eyes and it seemed like he was always thinking.

Chess, the game of strategy is very complex. But with my knowledge of it I’m pretty sure the goal is to knock off as many of your opposing player’s pieces of the board and to invade there side of the board. Winning in chess is simple, compared to physical sports. In chess you don’t have to make any physical contact, you can fight with your pieces on the board and be safe. But however, to win in chess it requires much more thought and planning.

The rules of chess also revolve around the game pieces. In all there are 16 pieces. The dominant ones are the kings and queens. Each player gets one. Then each gets two bishops, two knights, two castles, and eight pawns. Each piece has certain abilities, or things they can and can’t do.

“The reason why I bring up the puppy is because they are like a person that openly admires you and does everything you say. At first they are good, and then it all goes downhill.” – Jared D. this quote along with the many other essay’s, have opened up my eyes to new ideas on “social hierarchy”, and “blind admiration.” The essay’s were smartly written with really good points and different perspectives on the subject.

I already had the basic idea of the whole social hierarchy subject. I mean, doesn’t everyone in middle school? I knew the whole deal with people following celebrities and admiring them without a question. But once I got the chance to read other student’s stories, I saw there more personal stories. Some about siblings showed me that it takes place in people’s home lives too. I realized that it happened with me, that I have blindly followed my brother and older cousins. I never realized that before. The essay’s made me relate the topics they were discussing to my life.

“You may end up getting in a sticky sittuation where that someone who has fallen head over heels for you ends up getting really hurt from your actions. Therefore think before you speak and or act.” – Shanna G. Something about this quote stuck out to me. I totally agreed with what they were saying. They brought up a good point to me that made me think, It taught me something. Also it kind of brings up the moral of the story Sucker. Since Pete acted so horribly to Sucker who once loved him, Sucker ended up hating him and wanting to kill him. I could make the connection with what she said to not only Sucker but life. If in life we thought before we acted or spoke then there would be less hate maybe.

“Maybelle Watts, this senior at school, acted like she was the Queen of Sheba and even humiliated me. Yet at the same time I would have done anything in the world to get her attentions.” p.2  When Pete says this in the story it shows how much he wishes Maybelle would acknowledge him, and how much he admired her. This shows social group hierarchy because Pete knows he’s not nearly popular as Maybelle is. She completely humiliates him like a cooler person would to a less popular person. This passage is sort of like the typical example of  social levels in high school. The popular girl, and the “loser” guy’s who want her but can’t have her. The mean popular girl of course, humiliates and is awful to the people below her to show her dominance.

” I remembered all the times Maybelle had humilIated me and everything bad that had ever happened. It seemed to me for a second that nobody would ever like me but a sap like Sucker.” p.9 Pete is mad because now that Maybelle who’s a popular person, doesn’t like him. So he’s left with a “Sap” like Sucker. In this part social hierarchy is involved in a way that Pete is feeling above or higher than Sucker. He doesn’t want to be in a way, down graded to a more un-cool person such as Sucker.

There are many things I have learned from reading the story Sucker in general. From the beginning I was a little confused. The more we worked on it the more I understood. When I got the chance to read other people’s essay it really changed things for me. I understood more. Saw the story and it’s points and lessons from a new perspective. I saw it through the other people’s eyes. I realize now that all the work that seemed annoying and that dragged on was ultimately useful.

“People Humiliate others because it’s funny.” Someone in my group said. This was true but not the more deep reason. “People humiliate others to make themselves feel better, or higher up above them.” I liked this discussion. I always usually like the discussions Mr. Olivo makes us have the our “neighbors” because they make you think, and I like to think and challenge myself. We continued on with a discussion about “personal behavior” covering topics such as humiliation, adoration, and other themes and parts if the story Sucker. I’d have to admit, the air and feel of the class is just not the same without the cheerleaders, Tyler and Shannah. It’s especially quieter without Tyler, I miss her constant talking that keeps class alive at times. Though she sometimes picks bad times to do it.

When Mr. Olivo announced we were going to the computer lab, as always, a rippled of people closing binders and packing up their things went through the class. I thought about how confused  knew  I would be, working with technology. I just don’t mix with it well. When we got to the library we sat at the back of the room I was the end seat in front of the window sitting next to Jessica. It was freezing thanks to the cracked open window. Whoever opened it (due to the weather lately) had to be crazy. This little problem with the window turned into a big thing. Soon I had people yelling at me to “turn the knob to the left” and ” no your other left!” I was too short so that didn’t help. Jessica solved the situation by standing on a chair and closing the window after some time of trying to figure something so simple out.

We got settled and then we went to Mr. Olivo’s blog. Then we got assigned our post reading assignment. We had to read an assortment of kids essay’s about Sucker and unquestionable admiration. I enjoyed reading all of them really, some I was even jealous of, thinking why didn’t I write about that? Reading them determined me, they made me want to write better. I took some of my favorite essays quotes and saved them as a draft to keep for the assignment. Honestly, if it were up to me, I would copy and paste each essay and save them. But I had to do favorite quotes, it was so hard to narrow it down. I learned a lot from each about the topic of unquestionable admiration. More personal stories about siblings or friends admiring them, from their perspective. I didn’t think of that, all I pictured was fame and celebrities. One good point I remember someone brought up that kept me thinking was that even if they annoy you, you’ll regret being mean to them. I loved this point. It qualified to life, and the story Sucker. It was so true.

I remember I was always mystified and interested in the Solar system. Between going to the science museum with my family and studying the Solar system in fifth grade science I was always intrigued. They confused me in a way that made me more and more curious. I’m a little rough on the facts about the planets and space now though.

I learned a lot about the planet names, how many planets there were,  the order of them, and distances of them from to the sun. A big thing I remember was the teacher’s made it a big deal that there are only 8 planets due to recent studies, Pluto is not a planet.

I am most interested in the planet Venus because it appeals to me. It’s very bright, the “third brightest thing in the sky” besides the sun and the moon. I think from what I remember it was also impossibly hot and dry, too extreme for civilization. I would like to look into more the cause of all the planet and how they came to be. Also maybe to learn about space technology and how we can use technology today to learn more about the space.

” Hey Rachel you know they actually use real cow tales in those.” My brother said, as I took the first bite out of my cow tales candy. Shocked, I dropped the cow tale and let it fall to the ground. ” Really?.. What do I do!” I said. I felt sick, And was really upset. Real cow tales? My brother was smirking and my cousin next to him was trying not to laugh. They were enjoying my pain which sort of annoyed me. I wasn’t an idiot, I was just young and gulible. Besides, I love my brother and thought everything he did or said was true. “God Rachel calm down your such an idiot.” He said. “Of course there not real cow tales.” At first I was angry. It rushed through me just pure anger. Then came another wave of emotion. I was so embarrassed, humiliated. I think I started crying. It may not seem like a bg deal, like I was acting up. Well maybe I was. But inside I felt truly humiliated. It was the fact I had let my guard down, I had let him get to me. He saw me believing him and falling into the stupid joke. He also saw my weak side when I was vulnerable. He laughed at me and insulted me like I was stupid.  This all bothered me and when it added up I was disgraced for the time being.

If you’ve ever been embarrassed to an extreme, disgraced, or stripped of your pride and dignity you’ve experienced the unpleasant emotion of humiliation. It happens when you let your guard down, and let someone in willingly, and at that point your vulnerable. They see you when your vulnerable and in my case ,and in the story sucker, Sucker’s case they can insult you or harm you. They can do this by mocking you or hurting you and making you feel low. This makes you humiliated and lose self dignity. It’s an awful feeling that’s really self damaging.

In the story Sucker two people are humiliated. The humiliation is really like a chain reaction, it starts with Pete and he brings it upon Sucker. Pete’s humiliation all starts with Maybelle. She, in Pete’s eyes, is beautiful. He wants her and can’t have her. She ignored him for a little bit then finally let’s him in, starts to pay him a little special attention. She suddenly loses interest in him and probably got bored and wanted a better guy I’m guessing then Pete. All the time they were going out Pete started acting special and nice to Sucker. He felt closeness to Sucker. It was out of the happiness of Maybelle’s attention towards him. He felt so good to be cared about by her. This made Sucker really happy to because before all this Pete ignored him and didn’t treat him nicely at all. This sudden attention sent thrills and happiness through him. He was like a new kid. Then Pete felt like a loser since Maybelle said she never liked him so he was angry that the only person that liked him was Sucker who was a “loser.” He took his anger out on Sucker and made the mistake of his life. Sucker grew up, and realized how much hate he had for Pete. His humiliation for how he believed in Pete resulted into hate and things were never the same. It said Sucker literally wanted to kill him, that’s a powerful feeling.

It was like a dreamland, fantasy, unreal. We all grouped together lying flat on our backs just looking up at the stars. When we breathed smoke went upwards towards the gleaming stars. They were so bright illuminating and burning in our eyes. It really was beautiful and we recognized the beauty and respected it despite how young we were. Everyone was tired, too tired to move. It was from the day that was filled with snow ball fights, building snow forts, and exploring the woods. We also didn’t move and lied still to almost keep the moment lasting. The snow was perfect. It cushioned us like beds lying on the ground. It covered the world in a blanket of flawless sparkling white. Everything was delicate and white. I breathed in the atmosphere of peace and happiness.

My first neighborhood was really great, full of good kids and families. We all got along and knew about each other’s personal lives, we were close. Especially all the kids, we traveled like a pack. Always together, laughing,joking getting along. Maybe it’s because how young we were and when your younger it’s easier to get along with people. We would all play in the woods through the season’s the two best season’s to play in were summer and winter. Winter though was special.

We lied there for hours sometimes in silence, until we had to go inside. Our mom’s or dad’s would call us in and tell us it was getting late, or dinner was ready, or something along those lines. After they said that we’d stay out a few minutes more and then give in to reality and go back to our homes. My clothes were always soaked so I’d change into warm ones. I’d go to bed happy thinking and dreaming thoughts about the perfect snow and those bright stars.

“Can you hurry  up please?”  I said to Tristan Barros who was  behind for his next class.  He was sitting in the last available seat that  I wanted, because  nobody  wanted to  be the last  person  there was no  room for, they had  to sit  in the other  cluster  of  desks  alone. So he got up  and I said  thanks and then sat down and wrote the homework.
        Then we were told to staple our prompt  books. I  realized  I had only the pictures to it. Then I remembered that I had  emailed Mr.  Olivo my essay since my  computer has been dysfunctional lately.
        Mr. Olivo Then passed back the new weekly letters.  I stared at mine annoyed with myself that I  had so many  things  checked off. I ‘d’  have  to work on  them tonight  I’d thought, or else I’d be stressed out and  behind.
        My stressed thoughts feeling was put to the side when  Mr. Olivo said  we would  watch the  endings to both of the Romeo and  Juliet  movies. This  made  me feel better because I  really  like  watching the movies.  Especially the modern one because It’s really interesting  and like a movie I would  see outside of school. Though I wish we  could see the rest of the movie. I can understand why we  probably can’t  because it seems like more  of an adult movie so some parts might be inappropriate. I   also really like the  movies  because  the acting  i so good, and   it was really good when they were crying in the modern one and  I give  credit to any actor who an cry on the spot.

I never thought I would be blogging in school, it just seems too much like a thing you do for fun or outside of school. I’m glad were doing it this year and so far it’s been fun and, I look forward to using it in the future

Morphine For the Mind is one of my favorite post’s because it start’s off with a grabber that put’s you in a situation of fear, and it shows you what it feels like to be in that state of mind. It talks descriptively about what it feels, smells, and sounds like. It goes through all the sense’s when your scared. Then it talks about Juliet’s fear a little.

Progress Being Made This essay is short and interesting. It even has a little humor about the swine flu which is always fun. It talks about how the class ran when I was in the state of confusion after being sick. Also I think other kids can relate to it since so many have been out due to being sick.

What is the Idea of True Love? This essay is one of my favorites because it’s pretty personal. I talks about my idea’s ideas on true love and some of my family’s experiences such as my parents. In addition to my thoughts on true love it also highlights some of the ideas about true love that I learned from the Karamazov brother’s production of Romeo and Juliet.

Overall, today’s class was short, and disorienting. As soon as I walked into class (since I’d been out) it seemed like everyone was telling me I’d come back and that I had the flu, as if I didn’t already know. It was confusing because I had a lot of questions about what I had missed, and so little time in the class to clarify. I asked Mr.Olivo what I had missed for assignments and he told me to check edline. I told myself to deal with being confused and I could just check edline later, to hope it would make sense. After that everyone took a sheet they had worked on in class. People said that it was really hard and confusing (I look forward to working on that.) Today for me must’ve been a record for most progress and information packed into my head in a such a short class.

      It was late, we definitely were aware of that. I knew I was going against all that I was told never to do. My common sense was calling me an idiot, but the affects were thrilling. It didn’t help that the place I was in was completely terrifying. I knew that I shouldn’t be here. The air was cold, rushing, refreshing. It kept at a speeding pace that matched the one of my thoughts. The fear was like an electric current that traveled through my body like a shock wave. It pulsed in every beat that my foot hit the pavement. One thought was in my mind now, get home before 1. Nobody will find out just as your home before then. Everywhere I looked another jolt of fear struck me. I atleast had to get out of here. It was terrifying, and I had acted impulsively, or without using my head that night. My fear caused me not to think, just run.

         Fear for some people is like morphine for the mind. It enables their thoughts and some times just tells them to run. Run, and don’t stop until your away from your fears. When in fear peoples mind think out of desperation, not giving much thought to their actions. The affects of fear can cause people physical and emotional damage. Some people though act better when they’re frightened. They’re calmer and can think, make a plan. For most people that’s the case. Sometimes though it depends on the amount of fear your under. 

      In act 4 scene 3 Juliet displays much fear. In addition to the fear she has many internal conflicts. She has to decide whether to take the Medication Friar Laurence had given her. She is afraid that Friar Laurence has something against her and the medicine might actually kill her. She’s also afraid that she might not wake up in time and they would think the medicine killed her, Or that she would wake up before they got there. The fact also that she will be in the capulet family tomb with other dead corpses, and Tybalts body, scares her greatly. Juliet’s fear is not as severe yet, so her thoughts are clear. I think in the future her fear will result to acts a desperation.

Today was November 5th, a Thursday. Besides the sick feeling in my stomach because of the french test I found out about an hour before I had to take it, today was pretty much a fun day. the scheduel for the day was to get the test done that I missed – no, not swine – and get back into the class so I could get on track. When I walked into the room the first thing I saw was Zach flat out staring at me and smiling like he knew I was in pain The test turned out to be easier than the last one, but still a challenge. finally I got back into class and immediatley immersed in a conversation about Juliet’s internal and external conflict. This conversation was helpful because it taught me a lot about character conflict in an easy-to-understand way. After that we got into groups of three, and naturally I was in a group with Tyler (the usual) and Shannah. Today was fun, and personally I think productive.

Rachel Finn Venus

10-29-09

The Earth’s tilt in relation to the sun affects season’s to occur in the Northern hemisphere because of the Earth’s tilt. When the Earth is tilted towards the sun it causes the Northern hemisphere to experience summer. This happens because when the Northern hemisphere receives direct sunlight, it is warmer. When the earth revolves around the sun the Northern hemisphere is tilted away from the sun, This causes winter. The daylight hours in reading change over a year due to the tilt of the earth. If it is tilted closer to the sun, like in summer, there are more hours of daylight. This influences the temperature in Reading because when there’s more daylight it’s summer, and summer is a warmer season. The angle of the sun in the sky over Reading influences the seasonal temperatures we experience  because if the sun is right overhead in the sky it is summer, and it’s warmer. The lower the sun is in the sky in reading the colder it is. This is like the illuminated square activity because the more overhead the flashlight was the more direct and strong the beam was. The flashlight is just like the sun, and the graph paper is like the earth. 

The range of latitude that receives direct sunlight is the North pole. The temperatures these locations on the North pole experience is constant cold. This is because the sun is very distant, and there are no weather changes in seasons. The angle of the sun in the sky’s relationship with the tropic’s is sort of like the equator. Since the tropics are very close to the equator they are very warm and never cold. The angle of the sun over mid-latitudes like reading is sort of between the tropics and the north pole. So, it’s between a cold extreme and a warm extreme. This makes the weather in between, so it has a balance of all 4 seasons. The angle of the sun over the polar region of the earth is directly over head. Even though it is directly overhead it and gets 24 hours of sunlight on a particular day, it is very distant and this makes it colder. 3

10-4-09

Peace over Violence

      Going into middle school I learned there is a lot of violence, more than people think. Me and my friends try to avoid it because getting involved just gets you into to trouble

           I think Tybalt and Sampson are really different characters. Tybalt hates peace and is full with motivation to fight. Benvolio on the other hand is more serious. He likes peace and doesn’t want any trouble.  Tybalt is Juliet’s cousin and is on the Capulets side. Tybalt is also young and full of energy. Sampson is young and a more serious person. He is Romeo’s friend so he is on the Montague’s side.

I am most similar to Benvolio. He is serious about not fighting and so am I. It might be because I’m a girl, or because I’m generally just not a violent person. I am against physical fighting between people ,and I try as least as I can to be a part of it.

1-10-09

     When I ask my parents about their wedding (which I did a lot when I was younger) I realized how truly in love they are. When they tell me about that day it’s like there remembering, and feeling the way they did when they first met. I am fortunate to be raised around two people who I believe are in true love.

True love is rarely experienced I think. Not even some people who are married experience it. Some of us though have been more fortune to see it and feel it. For example Romeo and Juliet experienced it. Also all of the Karazamov brothers had experienced it atleast once. When true love does occur it can make is blind, do crazy things, and make us extremely happy and blissful. The youngest Karazamov brother said it made him feel strange inside and want nobody else. Naturally, it leads to marriage but it some cases it leads to heartbreak. So, it can hurt you just as much as it can make you feel good. That’s why you have to be careful with “true love.” True love almost puts you into a stage of mind when you can’t stop constantly being in a good mood. It can also do the opposite. If you’ve found true love and you and the person you’ve fallen in love with have broken up, true love can hurt you. It can make you feel unbearable while you still are in love with them. Some people say the idea of true love doesn’t exist. That it is just a lie. Some people think that anybody at anytime can find true love. I agree with that I just think that not everybody experiences it, and not very often is it experienced. There are multiple sides to the idea of true love.

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